The Entry I Wish I Didn't Have to Make
I'm sad. I have been disappointed by the entertainment world again. But this time, it's more personal than ever. Tonight, while watching Steve Carell on the Tonight Show, I was saddened to see a preview of tomorrow night's season premiere of The Office. I've already blogged about how much I am looking forward to tomorrow night's episode. I really am looking forward to the episode, but it won't be the same.
The sneak peek incuded Michael using the word "retard" and the word "retarded." You can imagine where my heart fell. . . .straight to the floor.
What is it going to take? When will people realize that using that term in a derrogatory manner -- even in jest -- is wrong?
What's my response? Right now, it's quiet reflection, prayer, and gentle reminders.
On Sunday night, a new friend used the word in my presence. She knows my family, and loves Caroline very much. She described a situation where she did something foolish, and referred to herself as being "retarded." Shockwaves went through my entire being as she said it - but I couldn't say anything at the moment. I just listened to the rest of her story, and laughed at the (truly) funny parts.
I chose not to confront the issue for two reasons. 1) I was exhausted, and 2) I knew that I'd end up in tears. I told myself that I would let some time pass, and talk to her when I had slept some. To my shock and utter surprise, she had her husband turn the car around--JUST to apologize.
Of course, I wound up in tears anyway. As I hugged her, my body was absolutely shaking with sobs. God did the work for me! I didn't have to confront her--she was in tune enough with the Holy Spirit to realize what was going on. God is so good to us sometimes!
The next day, when I saw her husband at work, I asked him if I had scared her. He just laughed and said that she didn't say anything except that she was glad they had turned around. Me too.
But that was Sunday. . . and this is Thursday. What will I do? I will probably watch the show, and die a little inside.
But, it needs to stop. Now.
The sneak peek incuded Michael using the word "retard" and the word "retarded." You can imagine where my heart fell. . . .straight to the floor.
What is it going to take? When will people realize that using that term in a derrogatory manner -- even in jest -- is wrong?
What's my response? Right now, it's quiet reflection, prayer, and gentle reminders.
On Sunday night, a new friend used the word in my presence. She knows my family, and loves Caroline very much. She described a situation where she did something foolish, and referred to herself as being "retarded." Shockwaves went through my entire being as she said it - but I couldn't say anything at the moment. I just listened to the rest of her story, and laughed at the (truly) funny parts.
I chose not to confront the issue for two reasons. 1) I was exhausted, and 2) I knew that I'd end up in tears. I told myself that I would let some time pass, and talk to her when I had slept some. To my shock and utter surprise, she had her husband turn the car around--JUST to apologize.
Of course, I wound up in tears anyway. As I hugged her, my body was absolutely shaking with sobs. God did the work for me! I didn't have to confront her--she was in tune enough with the Holy Spirit to realize what was going on. God is so good to us sometimes!
The next day, when I saw her husband at work, I asked him if I had scared her. He just laughed and said that she didn't say anything except that she was glad they had turned around. Me too.
But that was Sunday. . . and this is Thursday. What will I do? I will probably watch the show, and die a little inside.
But, it needs to stop. Now.
posted by Angie at 12:26 AM
3 Comments:
Oh this gives me tears...
For more than one reason. One, for you and how it makes you feel when people's ignorance hurts. Two, because I used to use the R word too...in describing myself or situations I didn't like. And didn't think it was a big deal because I wasn't ever referring to someone with DS.
But I am educated through you and my many friends with a loved one with DS and have always had the utmost respect for people with DS but now a deeper love and appreciation and have completely removed the rotten R word from my vocabulary.
I'm so sorry you were hurt. I'm so glad your friend came back on her own and acknowledged her mistake. And I sure hope that mainstream society gets a clue and doesn't make it an acceptable word.
Let's all make it stop!
P.S. And don't watch the show!
WOW Angie.....reading your blog just makes me realise how issues such as this can really hit home. It makes it all so personal. I hate that term myself and never use it or would allow any of my students in past teaching days to use it. But thank you for the emotional reminder of the impact when people so casually use such derogoratory terms. Your tears are warranted and always will be....but hopefully you and many others like you will help people to make that step to a better understanding. Thank you. Best wishes, Helen
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